Fireflies

Tonight was one of those summer nights I felt like I was building a memory for my daughter. We spent the night on the back porch as a family. We have a beautiful covered back porch at this home. It has a ceiling fan and we have comfy furniture with cushions. I always burn candles at night, and we bring the ipod player out to play our favorite music. The sun sets perfectly between the trees casting all kinds of shadows on the lawn and the porch. It is the reason I am most sad to leave this place.

Dan and I have always loved to listen to music outdoors and drink wine and talk. I remember our first home in Leesburg spending so much time listening to Miles Davis and talking into the night in the dark on the porch. Some of our best heart to hearts have happened in those hours. There is something about summer nights that sets your heart free and makes everything okay if only for that moment. I believe you feel the truest to yourself and the most brave when surrounded by an evening like tonight. (The vino doesn't hurt either!)

So, tonight we sang and danced and lit sparklers and let rocket balloons go. We watched Delaney glory in the experience. Dan said as he looked at our beautiful five year old dancing in the setting sun with her gold highlights shimmering and her blue eyes the brightest I have ever seen them, "This is life." He meant something deeper than just the hour and a half we spent together as a family or Delaney's own experience and memories. He meant the scar on her forehead representing the pain. He meant the inhibition she has now that we know no matter how hard we try will be replaced by self doubt and censorship. He meant the ability to live only in the moment so purely and sweetly without any other worry crowding it's splendor.

Delaney and I have a playlist of songs that make up the soundtrack of her life so far. One of them is Faith Hill's song, Fireflies.

Thank you for this perfect summer evening that let us be perfectly present with our Delaney. Thank you for the three and a half short months you have given us in this home, providing us shelter and memories. Thank you for the fireflies reminding me to never stop dreaming and believing that fairy tales do come true when grace and gratitude are writing the story.

Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
And before you knew me I'd traveled 'round the world
And I slept in castles
And fell in love
Because I was taught to dream

I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinker Bell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Cause I believe in fairy tales
And dreamer's dreams
Like bedsheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles, anything I can to get by
And fireflies

Now before I grew up I saw you on a cloud
And I could bless myself in your name
And pat you on your wings
And before I grew up I heard you whisper so loud
Well life is hard and so is love
Child, believe in all these things

I found mayonnaise bottles and poked holes on top
To capture Tinker Bell
And they were just fireflies to the untrained eye
But I could always tell

Cause I believe in fairy tales
And dreamer's dreams
Like bedsheet sails
And I believe in Peter Pan
And miracles, anything I can to get by . . .
And fireflies
And fireflies . . .

Before you met me I was a fairy princess
I caught frogs and called them prince
And made myself a queen
And before you knew me I'd traveled 'round the world
And I slept in castles
And fell in love
Because I was taught to dream