Enough

"God is not glorified if the foundation of our gratitude is the worth of the gift and not the excellency of the Giver. If gratitude is not rooted in the beauty of God before the gift, it is probably disguised idolatry. May God grant us a heart to delight in him for who he is so that all our gratitude for his gifts will be the echo of our joy in the excellence of the Giver!" John Piper, A Godward Life

I have been living on manna for over a year now. Since I lost my job last April and all through my pregnancy, recovery and our move here to Ohio God was teaching me the important lesson of waking each morning and rejoicing I had what I needed for that day because of His provision. I know we all do it, but I think I am particularly prone to becoming attached to things. I love beautiful clothes and handbags. I love beautiful furniture and linens. These things have always been a way for me to reflect to others who I am. Not all I am but certainly one part of me. I justified the value I placed on them because I felt they reflected my care and good taste and diligent work. I also subconsciously always felt I deserved these things.

During this last move I once again, out of necessity, had to sell some things that I thought were very important to me. I sold my big white French country bed, I sold my bookcases, my china hutch and my ash table which I always joked my grandchildren would fight over. My books are still in boxes in the basement. I still have windows without treatments. Only the absolutely necessary dishes are in the cupboards instead of the beautiful and sentimental ones and our bed is on rails. So I struggle with the idea of having ENOUGH. After over a year of no "disposable" income, you begin to see your socks are more than a little thin, you haven't added one new thing to your wardrobe, the towels are frayed and there is not really a day in the future when you can see beginning to shop again or replenish the things you lost. I would be lying if I didn't admit I become disgruntled at times and discontent, but during this purging process the empty space left by the things has been filled with manna for my soul.

My dad asked me the other day how we were doing, and I laughed as I answered him. We are good. I feel blessed because we can afford the groceries we need. We have health. We have relationships full of meaning. Most importantly we have a deeper knowledge of the Giver of all gifts. In the words of Chris Tomlin's song Enough,

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Thank you for emptying my mind and heart and life to be filled with ENOUGH.