Friday, November 7, 2008

Calvary stills all our questions

I have been reading Amy Carmichael's Rose from Brier this week and the above title of one of the chapters has stuck in my head and my heart. So many questions pressing in on me and every single one can be answered by Calvary.

One of the most difficult recurring questions I face each day is in regards to what Amy's book is specifically written about, continued physical suffering. I ask God why He has given me chronic physical pain in the form of severe fybromyalgia. I am presently in a horrible flare and my body has deteriorated in the past days so that I have constant shooting burning pain in my legs and hips and knees and even my toes. I can barely lift Danica and when I do it hurts so bad I want to cry. My face and my back is twitching. I cannot sleep. I have made my peace with this thorn in the flesh many times before but somehow I always end up back here asking "Why?"

Amy writes, "What, then, is the answer? I do not know. I believe that it is one of the secret things of the Lord, which will not be opened to us till we see Him who endured the Cross, see the scars in His hands and feet and side, see Him, our Beloved, face to face. I believe that in the revelation of love, which is far past our understanding now, we shall "understand even as all along we have been understood." And till then? . . . There is only one way of peace. It is the child's way. The loving child trusts. I believe that we who know our God, and have proved Him good past telling, will find rest there. The faith of the child rests on the character it knows. So may ours; so shall ours. Our Father does not explain, nor does He assure us as we long to be assured. . . But we know our Father. We know His character. Somehow, somewhere, the wrong must be put right; how we do not know, only we know that, because He is what He is, anything else is inconceivable. . . There is only one place where we can receive, not an answer to our question, but peace--that place is Calvary. An hour at the foot of the Cross steadies the soul as nothing else can. "Oh Christ Beloved, Thy Calvary stills all our questions." Love that loves like that can be trusted about this."

A Father who loves me enough to give His only Son to die for me can be trusted. And so once again I lay it all down here at Calvary. I surrender my body to Him, a living sacrifice, and offer thanksgiving for this pain which helps me see more clearly the price that was paid for my sin. I breathe gratitude for an affliction that keeps my eyes fixed on things above and not on this earth.


Superhero Mom said...

"Love that loves like this can be trusted about this." Thank you Father! Please know I think of you often. One of my dear friends suffers from fybromyaliga. She too has a relationship with the Healer that proves to be her lifeline. My heartfelt prayers are with you...for comfort, peace, endurance and healing! Thank you for being such an encouragment!

John Thomas said...

May our Father whose love will never let you go grant you peace in the midst of pain. May He grant you many moments of physical comfort, even to the point of healing. And, in the moments of discomfort, may He surround you with the strength of loved ones. Praying for you, sis.

Superhero Mom said...

You inspired me so much this week (by the way I'm a huge Amy Carmichael fan)that I gave you a shout out in my blog today! Just wanted you to know!