Sister Love

I've had a rough week. Even in a place I have created to plant and water my gratefulness out loud I know it's necessary for me to pull a few weeds from time to time. This was a week of weeding and pruning without too many blossoms left to fill my heart vase. My older sister Rochelle is a beautiful flower left standing in my garden. She is always there. She is sister love.

Today I received a package in the mail. It was a box with three new Ann Taylor v-neck shirts in perfect "Monica" colors and a sweater. Gifts from a sister who is always caring for me and giving. Over the last year she has filled so many spaces of need for our family. When school started last year she bought Delaney school clothes. She literally made Christmas for our family by sending gifts for each of us as well as Christmas dinner. Her gift to me was a beautiful set of Italian creamware dishes and flatware. Why? Because the night after I had Danica she stayed by my side while I thrashed in my bed sweating and screaming and talking out of my head. One of the crazy things I said was I wanted new dishes. (The funny thing is I really did!) Her family sacrificed for months to send money to us to keep our home and eat while I was sick and then recovering. This wasn't extra money they had, it was from giving up things they needed or wanted so we could make it through. This is sister love.

The gift today meant so much more than me having a couple new shirts to wear. It was the perfect timing. It reminded me that my sister is my lifelong friend. No matter what I need physically or emotionally she will always be there. We come from the same place and although so very different in many ways we are finding each day that we are more alike than not. More than anyone else we know the rhythms of each other's lives. We know what we are making for dinner, what our kids are thinking and saying each day, if we have a headache or cramps and what God is teaching us in the midst of all mundane. We remind one another that what we do each day really does matter and being faithful in the small things is a very real calling with eternal reward. We laugh and cry and complain and praise. We allow one another to talk into the wind when necessary and never judge. This is sister love.

I picture us someday, God willing, sitting at a table drinking tea with gray hair and wrinkled hands. There will be no catching up to do. We will know one another in and out. We will know the joy and the pain of this life. We will know amazing blessing and yes, even tragedy. We will see our God so much clearer than today, not faraway from seeing Him face to face. We will know sister love.

Thank You for my sister. Thank you for the gift of her friendship and love. Please bless and keep her tonight (and help her son Avery sleep in his room all by himself with no fuss so she can sleep in her own bed and spend time with her husband).

Mia Jane

My sweet niece Mia Jane turned 3 years old on Sunday. We moved to Maryland when she was only 3 months old, and I am so blessed to have spent most of her life living just a few miles away from her. I made a scrapbook for her birthday, and I felt sad to give it away because it contained so many special memories of her precious life. I decided to make a montage of the photos set to a song that reminds me of her so I would have them as well. I love you Mia!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A movement away

Amazing how a single choice
alters my every option
How one momentary action
sets all else in motion
My own thought has changed the life
of every other person
And all that I am certain of
becomes a certain question

Relative to relationships
life is never lonely
Everything revolves around
the trust of wise decisions
When one move is made in haste
all will feel the pain
I stub my toe
you take the blow
and the world nurses the bruise

Selfishness perceives loneliness
the heart cannot protect
One who loves and one who hates
all can feel the wind
of change and choice
all are at the mercy of the others
Move and sing carefully, my dear,
Fragile lives and destinies
are only a movement away from change

Most of you know I love poetry and read it daily in some form or another. I don't really write it anymore which is a little weird since I used to write a lot, but I think it takes a discipline I no longer possess. Or maybe I am just a little jaded in some way I wasn't in my younger years. This poem is another from an old Asbury Theological Seminary blog, and they never give credit to the author. I had bookmarked it awhile ago and lying in bed last night I was thinking of it again, and so I looked for it this morning.

I was watching my husband closely the last few months. I have listened to the changes in his own heart and life. I see a peace and a contentment with our life that I often prayed he would find. I see no grumbling with the day to day work, yes even drudgery, that makes up a real life. I see him delight in his children and sacrifice to provide and still make time for them and for me, often with no time for himself at all.

There was a period in our lives several years ago when our family was just a movement away from falling apart. I had lost my way and commitment to our marriage, and it was my husband who found forgiveness and grace and moved to save our love and the possibility of what we now share. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how it could have been. Not a day goes by I don't fall on my knees in gratefulness for God intervening and changing both of our hearts and lives.

Last night as I snuggled with Dan I told him again how thankful I am for him. I told him how blessed I am by his response to our daily life. As I drifted off to sleep I thought about how close we were to the awful consequences of sin and selfishness. I thought about how every decision we make affects so much more than our little world. I prayed for God to guide and direct each movement I make for good and not evil.

Thank You for Your grace in situations where we deserve the consequences of wrong and You bless us with goodness and mercy. Thank You for my marriage and the living testament it is of how a movement, that of selfishness and pride, and a response of forgiveness and humility can change lives and reflect Your own amazing love.

In Stone

Write your sorrows in sand and your blessings in stone

Richly Blessed

I have had a clipping with this prayer of an unknown Confederate soldier on my refrigerator on and off for the past 5 years. I found it again today. I have never understood its' meaning like I do now. Thank You for giving me everything I have hoped for and more!

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”

When you think of Jesus . . .

On Friday nights I always feel the same way--completely and totally empty. I feel like the week has drained every bit I have left to give, and I am toast. Dan doesn't get home until 7 pm, and I have the same response every week. I need a break. I have to get out of this house and breathe. Tonight was a gorgeous summer night with a cool breeze and a beautiful setting sun. I met my friend Sharon for coffee and we sat outside and watched the Hall of Fame hot air balloon show up on The Strip. I have a true love of hot air balloons for many reasons, and I was so thankful to see them tonight. I finally exhaled.

I listened to Sharon share about how she has been since our last meeting. We talked about being real, one of my soap boxes, and then she asked me the most interesting question. "When you think of Jesus what do you see?" I know if I think long enough I see many things, but my first thought is always Him on the cross and me a wretched sinner at the foot of the cross. He is dead. I put Him there. As we talked about this response I began to cry. I realized that I still so many times see myself as not good enough. I still fixate on Christ's death without the proper emphasis on His Resurrection. He died so I might LIVE in the fullness of His forgiveness and grace.

Sharon made a beautiful journal for me that she personalized with lots of words in a collage on the front. She also brought her own journal and shared the following quote with me that had spoken to her this week. I had to copy it as page one in my new journal.

"The forgiven life. The grace filled life. It begins with an embrace; which is more than an elegant word for hug. Hugs are short lived and friendly, handed out like after dinner mints to acquaintances and friends alike. "Here, have one." An embrace is more intentional. Longer, warmer and far more personal. Wherever you are spiritually. Whatever you have been through emotionally you are already wrapped in the Lord's embrace. Held closed by nail scarred hands. Enfolded in the arms of one who believes in you, supports you, treasures you and loves you. He is waiting for you to embrace Him in return. To accept the gift He's offering you. To listen for the whispered words you've longed for a lifetime to hear. You are loved. All is forgiven." -Liz Curtis Higgs

Thank You for holding me in Your embrace of forgiveness and acceptance and love tonight. Please transform my mind and heart to know and understand all that my Savior is to me so I may LIVE! Thank You for the gift of Sharon. Please give her a peace that passes understanding as she rests in Your infinite love for her tonight.

I'm Tired

One of my favorite poets is the children's author Shel Silverstein and tonight I am reciting his poem in my head.

I've been working so hard you just wouldn't believe,
And I'm tired!
There's so little time and so much to achieve,
And I'm tired!
I've been lying here holding the grass in its place,
Pressing a leaf with the side of my face,
Tasting the apples to see if they're sweet,
Counting the toes on a centipede's feet.
I've been memorizing the shape of that cloud,
Warning the robins to not chirp so loud,
Shooing the butterflies off the tomatoes,
Keeping an eye out for floods and tornadoes.
I've been supervising the work of the ants
And thinking of pruning the cantaloupe plants,
Calling the fish to swim into my nets,
And I've taken twelve thousand and forty-one breaths,
And I'm TIRED!