Tuesday, November 10, 2009

When I can't pray

I know I should be blogging, writing in my own personal journal and praying during a week like this, but I can't. I am tired and weak and numb. I read this yesterday and it was exactly what God wanted to say to my grain of mustard seed faith.

I tried to pray this morning. I needed to pray. But the words just weren't there. I couldn't think. Was it because of the injury? The medications? I don't know. I don't know. I felt like someone in a little canoe out on a lake in a heavy fog. I would paddle first one way and then another, but I could never seem to go in a straight line or get any closer to shore. Everything seemed muffled and strange, and I couldn't see any landmarks to guide me.

And then I just got tired of paddling. Tired of even trying. So instead of reaching for words that wouldn't come, I just started thinking about Jesus: Walking the earth doing miracles. Touching the man at Bethesda. Holding the little children in His lap. Hanging on the cross. And now, lifted up so high. Beautiful, like the morning star just before sunrise.

That's when it hit me. Jesus was with me in that canoe, out in the fog. My landmark wasn't out there somewhere, He was in the boat. And I didn't need to talk just then. I could rest, feeling Him close, knowing He was there.

-Joni Eareckson Tada, A Lifetime of Wisdom

I know He's here. I don't need to patch words together. He is interceding. I can rest.


Angie said...

This makes me think of M'Cheyne's words: "If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me."

I love you. Interceding with Christ for you.

Heather of the EO said...

I commented on your Chiari post, but I'm not sure that you'd see it since it's a bit older. Just wanted to let you know. :)

And reading this post reminded me of all the times I haven't been able to pray and the comfort I felt that it was alright that I couldn't. Whenever I feel that way, I get a song stuck in my head because I know other people are praying on my behalf...it's by Bebo Norman and it's called "You can borrow mine." Love that song. Just saying :)

La Familia Garcia said...

praying with you today!