Sunday, February 22, 2009

He who promised is faithful

Here I am on another Sunday morning not at church. I have a hard time reconciling what I believe about God being in control of every aspect of my life and how much power Satan has to keep me away from the assembling of believers. Yesterday I thought things were pretty much back to normal. Dan and I were able to sneak out and have lunch together while my parents watched the girls. Delaney was finally feeling better, and I had promised to take her to the 3D movie, Coraline at 7pm. Going to the movies is a very special treat in and of itself but for a little girl who has a 7pm bedtime that rarely wavers it was a really big deal. As we set out at 6:15pm to head to the theater I could tell she was acting a little strange. 5 minutes into our 10 minute drive I asked her a question and didn't get an answer. "Delaney, are you awake back there?" I shouted. She answered quietly, "Yes, just wake me up when we get there." The pouring rain began to turn to snow and ice, and I could barely see. I told her how this costs a lot of money, and I really don't think we should go now if she is tired and can't enjoy it and reminded her how bad the roads could get in two hours while we were inside the theater. She insisted we must go. As we were sitting the light to turn into the parking lot she begins to cry, "Mom, I am going to throw up. I need air. I need to go home. Roll down my window." So, we made our way home without any throw up in the car, and I am thinking in my head, "God, I can't do it. I just can't do more illness. You know I need to go to church tomorrow. I NEED it!"

Here I am. Delaney is still under the weather. I missed church. I told my husband I needed to go to our room for an hour and finish my Bible study for this evening. I haven't been for almost a month, and I really need to get out of this house and be with people and be encouraged. As I opened my Bible to read the passage for this week I began to weep reading the words. Every single thing I was dealing with this week was addressed in the verses in Hebrews 10:19-25.

A Call to Persevere in Faith

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Wow. He is faithful. I can come with confidence through the blood of my Savior. My conscience should be clear and my life transformed by the washing of His blood and the changing work of the Holy Spirit. In John MacArthur's commentary of Hebrews he references Romans 5:10 and paraphrases it this way, "If His death could do so much to save me, what must His life be doing in the presence of God to keep me!"

As I studied each verse I became more peaceful. God was answering my doubt and fear and struggles of the week with His promises. The end of this passage was the best part. "Don't give up on church! You are right! You need this. Recommit yourself. Even when things are hard or impossible, your desire to be there is proof He is alive in you." Again John's words stuck, "The only place where we can remain steadfast until He returns is with His people." This is an area of my life where I have not fully obeyed Him. I am so thankful He has worked in my life to move me from believing that a personal relationship with Him was enough. He has healed many of my old wounds from past church experiences that Satan had used to deceive me into thinking I didn't need the body of Christ to grow and flourish. I have so much further to go. This month of isolation and discouragement is a loving prompt from my God that I need to be encouraged by other believers. I need fellowship.

Thank You for speaking directly to me through Your Word today. Thank You that You are a God who is faithful to keep every promise. Thank You for making a way through Your Son for me to approach You boldly and crawl into Your loving arms with a clean conscience and be at peace.


Rochelle said...

I am so sorry Laney is not feeling well again! I know it is so discouraging, been there, done that! I am home this morning, too! God is sooo good though, and through it all HE IS FAITHFUL! I love you!

peaceliving said...

What profound reflections. I had a winter when my boys were 10 months and 2 years when I only made it to church 3 or 4 times in the span of 7 months due to various sicknesses. I remember the feelings you describe. He IS faithful to meet us, even in our stuck at home desperation, isn't he?

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

(One of my best friends has a daughter named Delainey Jane)...Beautiful and profound thoughts and so beautiful how He ministers to us even when we cannot congregate.