I have spent my day frantic, in tears and desperation because I have sought answers for months now in ways to heal my daughter and feel no closer to any real help for this little one. A failed attempt at her sedation and MRI last week and now a fever keeping us from sedation and botox tomorrow. I wonder if they are signs from God to turn away from such invasive efforts. If so, what else am I to do? Where am I to turn? How am I to pay for new efforts when You have only given me so much? I want to control this situation. I want the timing to be now. I have to fix this.
I settle my sick baby to nap and instead of work that needs done I quiet my heart and reach for His truth, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
I go back to a post from dear Ann at A Holy Experience, "What could change everything: A pilgrimage into prayer" Yes, prayer is the essence of rest. This baby girl is His, not mine. He loves her infinitely more than I do, and He is working His perfect plan in Her life and mine. He will lead us closer to Him through every challenge because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. REST. PRAY. REST. PRAY. REST.
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2 comments:
It sounds like you are much stronger and braver than I could ever be in your situation. You've found the right arms to rest in and seek guidance from. May you clearly hear God's voice and feel his comfort.
That same verse is what got me through my first two years here in Florida. With my twin 2 year olds and a newborn...away from everyone I knew and loved...feeling so alone! During this time my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and I felt my world spinning uncontrolably. Rest..was the word for me too. Right now..in my life's trials it is very similar..it is Be Still and know that I am God! Sometimes the most difficult, yet most rewarding stance is to do just that...be still and rest...knowing that our Father has got it all under control! I love you and am praying for you sweet sister!
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