Monday, January 26, 2009

When I am afraid I will trust in You

I am not a brave person. I hide from things that scare me all the time or I let my fear paralyze me. As I head into my surgery tomorrow I have been thinking about my fears and what place they have in my life as a Christian. Like everything these days I am asking what God has to say about being afraid. I pulled out a chapter titled The Grip of Fear from the book "Choosing Rest" by Sally Breedlove. Here are some quotes from the parts I have highlighted and read over and over this past month.

" . . . Do we really want the gift of peace in the midst of our fears? Or do we insist that God solve our problems so that our rest flows from what He has done for us?

Sometimes our worry is the thread by which we hang onto the belief that we can do something to change our situation and end our fear. As ridiculous as it is, we believe that our anxiety gives us some measure of control. Or we believe it keeps God mindful of our problem. We are afraid that without the pressure of our fear, He might forget what we want from Him. But our anxiety and demanding prayers accomplish nothing . . .

This describes me and my worrying heart perfectly. How do I find peace and rest tonight in the midst of wanting to control the outcome tomorrow?

"In the midst of our worry, all we want is out; all we want is for God to solve it. Despite his longings David faced his fears, taking them back to God again and again. Eventually the battle inside him began to subside. His testimony is not that of a man who once and for all released his fears into God's hands, but rather that of a man who turned back to God each time the tide of fear rose in his soul.

Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and He hears my voice.
He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.
(Psalm 55: 17-18)

The gate to the rest we long for in the midst of our fears is gained only by persistence. Again and again as our hearts fill up with fear, we turn to the Lord who is ever patient, who never shames us for our faltering, whose heart is always open wide.

When I was a child and would be frightened at night my mom would always quote the verse from Isaiah 26, "You will keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because He trusts in You." My God is good. His arms are open wide tonight waiting for me to rest in His perfect plan.

Thank You for being patient when I struggle with doubt and worry. Help me to trust You more and turn back time and time again to Your rest. Please help me keep my mind on You and give me Your perfect peace as I have surgery tomorrow.


Angie said...

I love this quote on your sidebar:
"PEACE. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." Unknown
Praying you know this peace today and for safety, protection and quick healing. I LOVE you.

Becky Leung said...

Thanks for sharing your fears. God alone is our comfort and strength and we can confine in him when we are scared and afraid. I've been through countless surgeries in my life, as you well know. Each surgery never gets easier; in fact it gets harder as I am growing older as I am more aware of the issues that can arise during surgeries. Yet I've learned in the past and even now that each test, each MRI, CT scan, surgeries I go through, God's hand is always upon me, and His Hand will continually be upon you as well, dear friend! I pray your surgery went well and that you won't be in too much pain!


Anonymous said...

I was googling this verse and found your blog. In the midst of a time of uncertainty, it is good that the Lord uses fellow believers to comfort one another.